In light of the recent political violence, a lot of people think that the media needs to tone down their rhetoric. Some journalists at CNN want to be the first to get rid of some "well-worn violent cliches." Some of the words include "blasting", "targeting", "taking aim", and "under fire".
I think we can all agree that our rhetoric could be toned down a bit and I do not want to make light of recent events, but PLEEEASE! I mean aren't we all jumping the gun? Oops! Let's rephrase that. We're being a little ridiculous, it just kills me! Shoot! Let's just move on folks.
Well, I decided that if CNN could do it, so can the comedy world. Quite frankly, there's too much violent rhetoric there. Let's try and come up with some alternative phrases:
"I killed last night!" ----- "They laughed heartily."
"I bombed!" ----- "I didn't do well at all."
"I slayed 'em!" ----- "They laughed really hard!"
"I died up there!" ----- "I was sweating through a difficult performance!"
I'm open for any suggestions. That's all I can think of right now. It's been kinda' fun. Hope you had a blast. It's been a regular riot!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Just Because You CAN Do Something Doesn't Mean You SHOULD
"Hey lady, I'm like a sardine back here. Do you mind?" No, I didn't say it, but I felt like it.
Sorry, I'm having a flashback to my recent flight out to California.
I'm baaack. I wanted to blog more frequently. Here it is a month later and well... holidays and general family nutttiness will do that to ya'. I finally got a chance to get away--my annual trek to the Christian Comedy Association (CCA) conference.
The flight to LA (Orange County) was packed--no room even for your coat in the overhead bin (so they told us). I'm sitting in my window seat, coat wedged between me and the wall. The "young lady" in the front of me decides to put her seat back. Now I'll admit I'm not petite, but with less and less space in these airline seats, I was now unable to open my newspaper. The only way I could've done this is if I were a T-Rex, you know with little bitty arms. Actually, I don't think they should even allow seats to lean back in economy during a day flight. I would love to hear the flight attendent (in a sweet and business-like manner) say, "Oh, and finally, if you are flying economy, please don't push your seat back because of our pack-you-in-like-sardines policy. Thank you."
To top things off, the nice young lady in front of me is in an exit row, stretching out her legs. "How much room do you really need sweetie?" No, I didn't say it. The dilemma--do I ask her to put the seat back up? The fear is that this person might be unhinged and cause an incident on the plane. Most likely she would say something like, "I have a right to recline, the seats go backdon't they?" My fantasticly witty reply would be, "Just because you CAN do something doesn't mean you SHOULD."
I had read in the paper that an Italian designer said they were looking at making the spaces between seats even SMALLER and some US carriers expressed interest. For flights up to three hours, they would have a section where the seats are like a saddle (with a seat belt of course). They 'reasoned' and I quote,"Cowboys ride eight hours on their horses and still feel comfortable in a saddle." Yeah, because flying in an airplane and riding a horse are such similar experiences. Cowboys also smoked hand rolled, brown cigarettes, didn't bathe for days and ate beans at all their meals. Like we want to encourage that behavior on a plane.
Plus the airlines are charging you for every little thing. Knowing the way corporate America is, they'll nickel and dime you to death and make it look like they're doing you a favor. So we're all going to have to listen very carefully to that in-flight safety talk.
"In case of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will descend in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen...deposit fifty cents in the coin slot next to the call button. Those of you without change, enjoy the nap. For your convenience our lavatories now accept VISA, Mastercard and American Express. We'd like to welcome our new Airline Charge card members and remind you that every time you use the lavatory, you'll be gaining valuable bonus points."
The upshot? If you're flying in economy, don't put your seat back unless the seat behind you is empty or you ask the person first (you never know when a T-Rex is on your flight).
And a word to the powers that be at the airlines--just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you SHOULD.
Sorry, I'm having a flashback to my recent flight out to California.
I'm baaack. I wanted to blog more frequently. Here it is a month later and well... holidays and general family nutttiness will do that to ya'. I finally got a chance to get away--my annual trek to the Christian Comedy Association (CCA) conference.
The flight to LA (Orange County) was packed--no room even for your coat in the overhead bin (so they told us). I'm sitting in my window seat, coat wedged between me and the wall. The "young lady" in the front of me decides to put her seat back. Now I'll admit I'm not petite, but with less and less space in these airline seats, I was now unable to open my newspaper. The only way I could've done this is if I were a T-Rex, you know with little bitty arms. Actually, I don't think they should even allow seats to lean back in economy during a day flight. I would love to hear the flight attendent (in a sweet and business-like manner) say, "Oh, and finally, if you are flying economy, please don't push your seat back because of our pack-you-in-like-sardines policy. Thank you."
To top things off, the nice young lady in front of me is in an exit row, stretching out her legs. "How much room do you really need sweetie?" No, I didn't say it. The dilemma--do I ask her to put the seat back up? The fear is that this person might be unhinged and cause an incident on the plane. Most likely she would say something like, "I have a right to recline, the seats go backdon't they?" My fantasticly witty reply would be, "Just because you CAN do something doesn't mean you SHOULD."
I had read in the paper that an Italian designer said they were looking at making the spaces between seats even SMALLER and some US carriers expressed interest. For flights up to three hours, they would have a section where the seats are like a saddle (with a seat belt of course). They 'reasoned' and I quote,"Cowboys ride eight hours on their horses and still feel comfortable in a saddle." Yeah, because flying in an airplane and riding a horse are such similar experiences. Cowboys also smoked hand rolled, brown cigarettes, didn't bathe for days and ate beans at all their meals. Like we want to encourage that behavior on a plane.
Plus the airlines are charging you for every little thing. Knowing the way corporate America is, they'll nickel and dime you to death and make it look like they're doing you a favor. So we're all going to have to listen very carefully to that in-flight safety talk.
"In case of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will descend in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen...deposit fifty cents in the coin slot next to the call button. Those of you without change, enjoy the nap. For your convenience our lavatories now accept VISA, Mastercard and American Express. We'd like to welcome our new Airline Charge card members and remind you that every time you use the lavatory, you'll be gaining valuable bonus points."
The upshot? If you're flying in economy, don't put your seat back unless the seat behind you is empty or you ask the person first (you never know when a T-Rex is on your flight).
And a word to the powers that be at the airlines--just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you SHOULD.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
You Gotta' Start Somewhere
Welcome to my new blog!
Come on in, take a look around. Make yourself at home. Grab a cup of coffee. Are you feeling welcome? I've been told I have the gift of hospitality.
We all know that people have different gifts--created differently. Some people seem almost programmed to never sit down (my husband and daughter). I'm not one of those. I was created to sit and muse. So a friend suggested I start a blog. Blog, blog, blog. Sounds kind of like blah, blah, blah. Since I'm a comic and a mom, that'll be my frame of reference. I've got opinions. Ask me about anything, I'll give you my opinion. Luckily I've also been told I have the gift of discernment, which is a good thing for a comic, since that opinionated thing can get you in trouble sometimes.
I'm new at this thing, so bear with me. I'll have random musings from my life as well as current events. (I'm a dinosaur newspaper addict, although I do get a lot of up-to-date news off my Yahoo page.)
Like today--the big news. "Who is Kate Middleton--the first commoner to marry an heir to the British throne in 350 years?" My first thought is...'Who cares?' But then I have to remember that there are people out there who truly care about British royalty. And then I think,'Who really cares?'
Some days I might be thought provoking or even a little profound. Some days, not so much. But I promise for the most part it'll be funny.
So come on back. Check in from time to time. Check and see what this Chicago, city born and raised comic mom with a gift of hospitality and sarcasm has to say. You might even want to leave a comment or two. Then we can get a conversation started, maybe learn something and have a good laugh.
Come on in, take a look around. Make yourself at home. Grab a cup of coffee. Are you feeling welcome? I've been told I have the gift of hospitality.
We all know that people have different gifts--created differently. Some people seem almost programmed to never sit down (my husband and daughter). I'm not one of those. I was created to sit and muse. So a friend suggested I start a blog. Blog, blog, blog. Sounds kind of like blah, blah, blah. Since I'm a comic and a mom, that'll be my frame of reference. I've got opinions. Ask me about anything, I'll give you my opinion. Luckily I've also been told I have the gift of discernment, which is a good thing for a comic, since that opinionated thing can get you in trouble sometimes.
I'm new at this thing, so bear with me. I'll have random musings from my life as well as current events. (I'm a dinosaur newspaper addict, although I do get a lot of up-to-date news off my Yahoo page.)
Like today--the big news. "Who is Kate Middleton--the first commoner to marry an heir to the British throne in 350 years?" My first thought is...'Who cares?' But then I have to remember that there are people out there who truly care about British royalty. And then I think,'Who really cares?'
Some days I might be thought provoking or even a little profound. Some days, not so much. But I promise for the most part it'll be funny.
So come on back. Check in from time to time. Check and see what this Chicago, city born and raised comic mom with a gift of hospitality and sarcasm has to say. You might even want to leave a comment or two. Then we can get a conversation started, maybe learn something and have a good laugh.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)